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    Making Light of the Indie Music Condition Through someecards

    Sunday, April 18th, 2010

     

    From day one I’ve liked the idea of e-cards (but) for the longest time the companies that ran these sites didn’t really speak my language.  They were  perfectly fine places to find a cartoon baby holding a balloon but my grandmother has no idea how to use a computer and she would have never received my ‘thinking of you’ message.

    Then I discovered Someecards and Married to the Sea.

    I won’t spend too much time talking about Married to the Sea.  The site uses (somewhat) Victorian era cartooning that it then adds captions to.  It’s a classic format but it can be overly cerebral at times and I often find myself wondering if I just don’t get it or if it’s just not funny.  I suppose Married to the Sea took a lot of it’s cues from The New Yorker.  On the other hand, Someecards is a force to be reckoned with.

    Warning:  View with caution.  Some work environments may find a lot of Someecards material highly inappropriate.

    You can find your basic ‘get well soon’ fodder on this site but you will most likely stumble across the pages and pages of material (I suspect) Bob Saget submitted as “a little too inappropriate for his live show.”   Everything goes though and I think that’s what I enjoy the most.  Doubly enjoyable is fact that a while back they started allowing users to create their own cards.  You can now use their cartooning and format to express your deepest (darkest, creepiest, funniest) thoughts and send them to your friends (boss, enemy, mistress) when you want to make them laugh (cry, faint, file a restraining order).  It’s fantastic!

    I use Someecards to the fullest extent.  Some of the e-cards I create get sent to school friends that I hardly knew back in the day (and only see here and there on Facebook). Most e-cards though, I send to my special lady friend and kind of hope they never make it out of her in-box.

    Anyway, here is a collection of my e-cards that fall into that “it‘s funny cause it‘s painfully true” category.

    These e-cards are for all of us indie musicians,  or those of us who know an indie musician, or those of us who have dated an indie musician (I feel for you), or maybe just those of us who suspect the guy in the mail-room plays bass.

    OK, I can’t help it.  I have to slip one in.  I’m not a choir boy you know.  I’m a musician.  Seriously, what do you expect here?

    See you soon,

     

    Ezra


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    Impractical Gift Ideas for Musicians!

    Thursday, December 17th, 2009

    Theremin – Invented in 1919 by Russian physicist Lev Sergeivich Termen, the theremin is in a category all by itself. It’s both spooky and impossible to explain (two things I enjoy). Steve Nieve (Elvis Costello) does a nice job with one!

     

    Uilleann Pipes – I believe they have a “special beating” for those who call them bagpipes.

    Magic Pipe – As a classically trained upright bass player That 1 Guy probably found this more interesting.

    Glass Harmonica – Yet another awesome idea brought to us by Benjamin Franklin.

    Laser Harp – Need I say more? The glasses are extra.

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    A Few of Our Favorite Atypical Holiday Videos

    Tuesday, December 15th, 2009

    This material has been posted for educational purposes only.  Please watch the the following videos and educate yourself on how to be awesome this Holiday Season!

    The Ramones

    The Pogues

    David Bowie and Bing Crosby

    Adam Sandler

    Colbert and Costello

    The Colbert Report Mon – Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
    A Colbert Christmas: Colbert/Costello Duet
    www.colbertnation.com
    Colbert Report Full Episodes Political Humor U.S. Speedskating
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    Ezra’s Bio

    Tuesday, November 17th, 2009

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    Ezra Closer is an American; salesmen, guitarist, writer, and modern designer. In a lifetime spanning as long as he can remember, Closer has written; rock, orchestral, jazz, and concert band music. In addition to these accomplishment, Closer also arranges “atypical tunes for clarinet quartets.” He is currently working on David Bowie’s “Major Tom” for what he calls, “Four Clarinets and a Judgmental Audience.”

     

    In his elementary school years, he acquired a love for stage when his third grade class was asked to put on a full production of both Shakespeare’s “Hamlet” and “Comedy of Errors.” When asked if these productions were successful, Closer replies, “Of course not. But I memorized all of my lines and didn’t pass out during my monologues. So yes, they were successful.” In Closer’s upcoming autobiography, he also cites his fifth grade music teacher as a large contributing factor to his love of stage.

     

    “Mr. Williams thought it would be wise for me to pick up an instrument. He had a trombone that was being neglected. He cleaned it up and showed me a few basics. I took it home for a couple weeks and sat on the couch playing along to all the commercials on TV. I appreciated how a well-greased slide could mimic an elephant or a passing prop-plane-but it didn’t really stick. I wanted something louder; well something a lot louder. After a few years of pestering, my grandfather gave me a guitar he had in his closet. I probably spent an entire year trying to teach myself the opening riff to “Smoke on the Water”. I’m pretty good at it now.”

     

    Growing up in the military forced him to move all throughout the United States and parts of Europe. This wasn’t easy on Closer. He always found it difficult to keep up with the differences in language, more so, how words have different meaning, depending on where you are. He always found it odd that in the mid-west “a coke” wasn’t necessarily “a Coke”. It just meant you wanted a soda. You would say, “I’d like a coke.” Then they would ask, “What kind?” You then would say, “Root beer please.” On the west coast they call it “soda” and in the NW some will call it “pop”. Refusing to ever use the term “pop” or “soda”, Closer found it increasingly hard to fit in. It was difficulties like these that some say fuel his angst and unwillingness to retune his guitar after a solo.

     

    Ezra Closer currently resides in Oregon and is a founding member of the NW rock band The Salesmen. He can currently be heard on their 2009 release “Cubicle Rock’.

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